I fell in love with a boy in San Francisco while I was at a house party. He was throwing Cheerios or some other breakfast cereal at my head and I kept looking up and smiling, thinking what a silly boy way to get my attention. But it worked. He was devastatingly handsome, extremely funny, and I fell for him within days. That lasted about two years.
I usually prefer to only be with someone a few days a week because that means you don't get sick of them. It means you get to miss them. It means when you see them you get a twinkle in your eye and you want to run and wrap your arms around them and never let them go. But this time it's different. This time I'm having a much harder time with things.
I want to be with Dave every day. We have our own lives so we'd still only see each other for a few minutes some days, but I would get to kiss him every day. I would get to wrap my arms around him every day. I want that. I have never wanted it before. In fact, not so long ago you could've heard me saying, "I don't want to cohabitate with anyone ever. They can have their home and I'll have mine. I like my space." While I do like my space, I know for a fact I could have that with him, if we lived together.
All of this doesn't weird anyone out as much as it weirds me out. I am fiercely independent and have my own full and busy life. I knew from the first date with Dave he was going to be different. I have never had that happen before. We're going to be together a while. One of us is going to have to move. The logistics of that we'll figure out when it's time, but it's going to happen. It won't be easy no matter who picks up and leaves their hometown. There are a ton of things to think about and consider. I am trying not to think about it right now.
Right now it's like I told him, "This is way harder than I thought it be. I choose to focus on when we are together instead of when we're not." I always think, "I get to see him again the 28th. He booked us a great dinner and then all day Sunday we're going to lounge around his place watching movies and snuggling." I try not to think the other way. The other way makes me sad.
Days like today I can't think about how I don't get to see him again for a week. I have to think that I GET to see him again in only a week. Fooling my brain by using this kind of language works for me somehow, so that's how I approach it. And some day, months from now, when we decide this is a more permanent thing, then one of us will move and I won't have to fool myself, 'cause I'll actually get to come home to him every day. Hopefully, if things work out, this will turn out in the end to be a not so long distance relationship.
Or maybe it'll go the other way and one day he'll decide the distance is too much for him and he wants to be with someone closer. But I'm going to go ahead and choose not to look at that either. If it happens it does and I'll deal with it. I don't know when I became such a positive thinker, but I have. There's so much to figure out and plan, if you can't just say, "Today I'm happy." So I choose to remember that I have a really awesome boyfriend and that today it works for me. I'll continue to do it until it isn't working for me anymore.
Happy picture of the day: this is us in a photo booth. A photo booth that we didn't realize video records you while you are in it. So when we walked out there was a little girl that had totally been staring at us making out for a few minutes. AWWWKWWWARD.
Source: http://sporkgasm.blogspot.com/2012/07/long-distance-relationships.html
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