The Laws of Teenagers

1. The acoustic power of individual teenager is directly proportionate to their number and their proximity to each other. (The more of them, the louder each individual teenager gets.)

2. The collective intelligence of teenagers is inversely proportionate to their number and their proximity to each other. (The more of them, the less smart they are as a group.)

3. If X is the number of teenagers residing in the house, the odds of teenager presence within said house are as follows:

• 2X teenagers 50%,
• 2x+1? teenagers 10%
• 0 teenagers 30%
• X teenagers 10%

(In other words, if you have 2 teenagers, you either have four kids at the house or none at all.)

4. If X is the number of teenagers legally residing at the house, Y is the number of teenagers currently present at the house, and P (a) is the probability of an event ?a? taking place, then the following is true:

if Y = 2X+1 then P(a) > 60%

where a is

• burning things in a fire pit
• prank calling involving prerecorded Dr. Phil phrases, such as ?I need you to start living as a gay woman.?
• viewing of 21 Jump Street

(If the number of teenagers exceeds the number legally residing at the house, the chance of them being engaged in a previously listed activity reaches 60% or greater)

Chances that parents will hear the previous activities taking place is greater or equal to 100%

5. If the number of teenagers exceeds the number legally residing at the house, the number of teenagers who will be unable or unwilling to consume food provided no matter where it was purchased or how it was prepared is greater or equal to 1. (I had a kid refuse to eat pizza the other day.)

Feel free to add your own.

Source: http://www.ilona-andrews.com/kids/the-laws-of-teenagers

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